I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
