A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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