I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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