I bet he comes in French.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
