I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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