If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize