Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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