seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
