I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You ate ashes out of my bong
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
