He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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