You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
