What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
