It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
