we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize