I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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