And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize