it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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