i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
