How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
