I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
