Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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