he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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