don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
