After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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