thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
