im about as happy as oj after his trial
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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