Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
