Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
