that's an acceptable place to lick
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
