I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
