I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
