Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
