I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
