You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
