I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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