have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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