this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
