jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
