We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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