the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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