I heard we made out
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
