Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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