420 ftw
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize