I hate your face
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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