HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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