Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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