on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize