Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
