Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
