Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sex in the backyard? Check.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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