I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
