Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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