I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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