i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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