Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
