It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
