the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
