He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize