Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
