My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize