i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
