shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
