Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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