her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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