dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I deserve this hangover.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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